Month: March 2024

Good Friday

/ a samaritan woman / 1 Comment

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God. John 3:16-21

The good news of Christianity is that we are forgiven through the sacrifice of Christ; Jesus suffered and died for our sins and rose from the dead.

This is wonderful news!

But…I’ve always had a teeny, tiny problem with this. If God loves us so much, why did God demand a sacrifice to forgive us? That just seems a bit…conditional.

Forgive me if my sick sense of humor wanders into the realm of the near-ridiculous as I can’t help but imagine a hypothetical (and somewhat Monty Python-esque) conversation….

God the Father: Sheesh. LOOK at them, will you? I’ve given them commandments, guidance, a burning bush, manna from heaven, and STILL they screw up. I’m done with humans; they’re all fit for nothing but the burning pit of hell!

God the Son: Oh, come on, they’re not THAT bad. Give them a chance. Maybe eventually they will figure it out.

God the Father: Hm. I don’t know…but maybe I could be persuaded IF they made a big enough sacrifice. But it would have to be big – I’m really not happy about them.

God the Son: I don’t think they are capable of appeasing you. Tell you what – how about I do it for them?

God the Father: Hmmm. Well, let’s see. How about you become one of them? Like, become human.

God the Son: I can do that.

God the Father: And…not in a life where you’d be a crown prince or anything. I know! How about you become…hmmm, how about a carpenter?

God the Son: OK, I’ve always wanted to make things out of wood.

God the Father: You can teach them what they really need to know: How to treat and love one another. I gave them commandments, but they still mess it up. Oh, and throw in some miracles and healings so that they pay attention.

God the Son: I can definitely do that. Hey, how about turning water into wine? That sounds like a good start.

God the Father: But, in order for me to forgive them and bring them home to me, you need to die a horrible, dreadful, painful, excruciating death.

God the Son: Um. Ahhhh, you sure about that? Well. OK, if you insist.

[end of conversation]

Image: Detail of Dali’s Christ of St. John of the Cross, 1951

WAIT! Don’t call me a heretic just yet, but I can’t help but wonder. Permit me to offer an alternative (hypothetical, of course) conversation:

God the Father: I’m upset. I know I gave them free will, but this is getting ridiculous. Look at how my people are behaving!

God the Son: They’re NOT behaving.

God the Father: Exactly my point! I’ve given them commandments, prophets, examples – I mean, look at King David, for Your sake, he sent his best friend off to be killed in battle and still I blessed him. Why don’t they believe I love them? Why don’t they ACT like it?

God the Son: I think it’s called “human nature.”

God the Father: Yes, but I made them in our image and likeness! I set up this glorious world and they keep messing with each other. I just don’t know what to do to show them how much I love them, and how I would LIKE for them to treat each other. They love living in the darkness! They need to see the light!

God the Son: Light… LIGHT! I have an idea! I could go down there…

God the Father: Hmmm, that’s a thought! You could show them how to live, how to love one another, how to forgive…

God the Son: Yes, and add some miracles so they’d pay attention. I am the light of the world, after all.

God the Father: Absolutely. But – they are fickle. How many prophets have they seen doing miracles and issuing warnings? And still they’ve ignored them!

God the Son: Well, I have an idea that goes beyond anything any of the Prophets did. Let them kill me.

God the Father: WHAT?

God the Son: Seriously. They need a really, REALLY BIG example of just how much they are loved. They really won’t believe it any other way. If they think that the ultimate blood sacrifice – me – has been given for the forgiveness of their sins, they’ve got to listen, don’t you think? That would be a real, heavenly, cosmic slap-upside-the-head!

God the Father: Hm. Wow. You know, that’s really not necessary for us to forgive them, but –

God the Son: I know. We’re going to love them no matter what, and do everything possible to get them all home to heaven one day, some way. But this will be a shortcut. If they follow me, they are following God. If they look at how I live and see me as an example, follow me and accept my sacrifice, they will be bringing home the Kingdom of Heaven on earth!

God the Father: You know, this could be a way to bring all of my creation into my fold – not just the children of Israel.

God the Son: Can you think of a better way to show them that God suffers with them? Like, right along WITH them, when they suffer?

God the Father: No, I can’t. But…are you sure you want to do this? You know I don’t require anything to love and forgive humanity; but I want them to realize how much they are loved, and for them to show and live that love. Doing it like this will wake them up…but…it’s gonna be bloody. And really, really painful. Those Romans are a real piece of work. Sometimes I wonder if the whole free will idea was a mistake…

God the Son: Well, you said yourself how off track they are. They have ignored the commandments and have been hurting each other. And the Romans are bad enough – and what about those Pharisees and Saducees? They’ve missed the point! Anyway, do you think the people would pay attention to anything less than a really, really BIG sacrifice?

God the Father: Good point. But you know…seeing the Son of God die a horrible death can’t be the end of the story.

God the Son: We’re thinking the same thing —

God the Father: Well, of course – we ARE God, after all! After you’re “dead” and “buried,” you’ll come back to life! Resurrection!

God the Son: Yes! Their bodies die, but they’re not sure about what happens after that. I can show them that death and sin are conquered. Rising from the dead? They’ve GOT to pay attention to THAT! That will show them that through me, they have life eternal.

God the Father: Perfect. If this doesn’t wake them up, I don’t know what will.

God the Son: One last thing: In the Torah, there are a LOT of commandments. Maybe we could just…simplify it. You know, love God and love your neighbor. They do have short attention spans.

God the Father: You’re right. I always have had fun with Words…. Let’s get the Holy Spirit in on this plan and get started.

~~~~~~~~~

So, there you have it. This might raise an uncomfortable question: Did Jesus have to die?

We’re so used to saying yes, He had to die for our sins!

But wait – did Jesus have to die because God the Father demanded a sacrifice? Was it atonement?

Or did he have to die because we humans just would not believe or accept God’s love for us any other way?

You decide.

*disclaimer: The warped theology presented here is purely the musing of this author and not to be interpreted as any official stance produced from her Jesuit education (it’s not completely their fault I’m a bit heretical), Catholic school studies or 30 + years in the Episcopal church.

Amazing Musical Grace

/ a samaritan woman / 2 Comments

Music has saved me on many occasions throughout my life. If you read my post from December 2023, you’ll know that I lost my best friend and music partner without any warning. No, I haven’t felt like writing any blog posts. You wouldn’t want to read them anyway; what can I say? Everything sucks. Having Bubba for a friend and creating music with him enriched my life in ways I’ll never be able to describe. Losing him so suddenly – it’s indescribable.

I could barely make it through the Christmas Eve service at church. In fact, I didn’t. I couldn’t. I got through the Eucharist, but couldn’t face another minute, and certainly couldn’t face the candlelight singing of Silent Night. My wonderful fellow choristers totally understood. I left, cried all the way home, walked to my brother’s house next door, and wept and drank with another bereaved friend.

I didn’t sing, or play, or anything for quite a while. I felt (and still do feel) like an empty shell. I couldn’t even face choir for over a month. I knew I wanted (and needed) to go back, but just couldn’t – and the choir loft is a safe harbor for me.

Then, one day, a text from Leon (our director). Our choir members were invited to sing The Seven Last Words of Christ with our friends across the street, the First Methodist Church choir.

Yes. Yes, I need that. My first venture back into singing anything since Bubba died was in the First Methodist choir room, not even my own loft – perhaps because that loft and pipe organ has Bubba’s influence everywhere. (I did return to my own loft and church the following Sunday.) I went to practice, and escaped from my own thoughts by diving into sight-reading something I’d never seen or heard before, and joining voices with others who love to sing.

I found myself smiling for the first time in nearly two months. I had something to wrap my brain around, a bit of a challenge, and a fairly new musical environment. I had a musical distraction, and that’s just what I needed. I’d been writing a lot since Bubba’s death, but writing is a solitary activity. I love making music with others, even if I can’t make music with Bubba any more.

We sang the Seven Last Words on Palm Sunday at the First Methodist Church, and will present it at Epiphany Church on Good Friday. I love being a part of creating such beautiful music, and Theodore Dubois’ rich work is moving and very healing. Being partially deaf makes it matter even more that I’m in the middle of it. Being invited to join in this was a gift at the perfect time; it helps, and it gives me hope. And God is so efficient. Just as this was a blessing for me in my own circumstances, I know that God uses this musicial event to bless others in many other ways. Wouldn’t it be amazing to know them all?

After Good Friday, I’ll sing I Know that My Redeemer Liveth on Easter. And then, I’ll have to find another musical challenge because it helps to keep the pain to a dull roar when I’m focused on music. I’m committed to playing for a couple of events in the summer, and ordinarily it would be Bubba and me, but I no longer have that option. Part of me wanted to back out, but I hear Bubba giving me THE LOOK and telling me “don’t even think about it!”

So I take out the 12 string and just play and sing and listen. It hurts, but it is well with my soul. Once again, God saves me through music.