Martha’s Blues

“Are you a Martha, or a Mary?”

How many times have I heard this question asked? I’ve no doubt said it a few times myself. I recently read an insightful commentary (on Instagram, go figure) that touched on the heart of the matter in Luke 10, when Jesus visits the home of his friends Martha, Mary and Lazarus. Martha is busy serving, and Mary is sitting down, listening to Jesus.

I will readily admit to being Martha. After all, somebody has gotta get this s**t done.

The point made was that it wasn’t a situation of Mary = good, Martha = bad. Martha was in her expected role, and provided a great service with her hospitality. She fed Jesus and his followers and made them comfortable and welcome. She provided a safe and welcoming place for the ministry; a refuge from the world where disciples could sit and listen attentively.

The problem was that Martha was anxious, distracted, and focused on something other than Jesus’ message. She was serving, but not with an open heart and open ears. Even something as inspiring and awe filled as Jesus sitting in her home and teaching became something stressful.

Martha did what had to be done, and what WAS the right thing to do. But Jesus did point out, very gently, that spiritual discernment is a “better portion.” There’s a saying “let go and let God,” which reminds us that we DON’T have to try so hard. Maybe we can keep doing what we need to do, but focus our minds more on Spirit than on matter.

Because s**t still gotta get done.

Christ at the home of Mary, Martha, and Lazarus Jacopo Bassano c.1577, Museum of Fine Arts, Houston TX

I joke that my title at work is She Who Does That Which No One Else Will Touch. Computer headaches, dealing with AT&T (and other assorted technology), tracking down clients who are slow in paying, insurance, HR, figuring out assorted regulatory compliance, you name it.

It’s a far cry from the career path I’d started on a few decades ago: Licensed Clinical Social Worker. I keep my license current and do “a few things,” but life interfered and I found myself in the family business because hey – family needed me.

I’ll be honest – there are days when I throw up my hands and say “WHAT am I doing?” There are days when I just want to run away from the world of management and regulations and go back to being a Social Worker. Please don’t make me deal with nonfunctional technology; can I just go back to dealing with serious mental disorders and a few garden variety neuroses instead?

I often wonder if I’m making a difference or helping anyone in this role, and I start to feel like Martha. Frustrated, overworked, unseen, not enough help and not really able to help. Why did I sign on for this?

Well…because of love. Like Martha, I sometimes need a nudge in the “discernment” department. I do this because I love my family. I love what my parents built, and what we continue. I care about our employees, and I care that we have built a good, supportive place to work. I love those days when I look around and think “wow, we really have some good people here.” We are blessed.

I wasn’t familiar with the website that posted that commentary on Instagram; http://www.qava.tv . A quick online check tells me they are a Christian streaming service, offering a wide variety of programs. Thanks, Qava folks, for this thought provoking commentary. It hit me when I needed a reminder that we all need a balance of Martha’s action and Mary’s attentiveness.

Some years ago I wrote a song called Martha’s Blues, focusing on…well, you can probably figure out what it’s about. Pity poor Martha, she’s got the blues; housework fights forever and you’re always gonna lose. It’s a part of the Women at the Well program, and the last time I performed it was at an event honoring the memory of my late music partner Joshua “Bubba” Murrell. It’s always been one of my favorites from that program, and you can listen to it here. Since Covid, we hadn’t been able to do many Women at the Well programs, and I miss that. I wonder sometimes what it would be like to present the program on my own? I wonder what Martha and Mary would advise?

A String and a Prayer

A String and a Prayer is the title of a cool little book by Eleanor Wiley and Maggie Oman Shannon. I got it years ago during a period where I was having fun with beads. The book is about making – and using – prayer beads, and I was reminded of it as I recently brought home a set of prayer beads that really spoke to me.

Prayer beads have been around for a long, long time. Here in south Louisiana, prayer beads = Rosary. As someone who grew up Roman Catholic, I have several rosaries. I live not far from a place called “The Rosary House,” which carries what may well be the world’s largest selection of handmade rosaries. The folks who work there and make these rosaries are true artisans, and they view their job as a ministry. No matter what your faith, there’s a special energy in anything made by hand, particularly if it has some spiritual weight, so to speak. (Prayer shawls are sort of like that. And all of my prayer shawls come with a bit of my hair, and my dog’s as well. Extra mojo, you might say.)

I was on a meditation retreat, and the bookstore had several mala bead sets. According to A String and a Prayer, “Most scholars believe that the use of prayer beads originated in ancient India with the Hindus…sandstone representations dating from 185 B. C. show people holding prayer beads…” The Hindu beads are called a mala and the strand traditionally has 108 beads. The set I took home is made of greens and golds, with bird-shaped accent beads. The tag read “when women were birds and knew all the songs.”

Clockwise from bottom: new beads “when women were birds and knew all the songs,” red handmade rosary, handmade Anglican prayer beads (made by the Community of St. Mary in Sewanee, TN and a gift from Deacon Diane Moore)

Well. How could I NOT get them, especially with a name like that? It also made me think…we all once knew all the songs, how did we forget them? How did we forget who we truly are, amazing souls enjoying an earthly journey?

I remember my grandmother (pop’s mom) spent her last years bedridden due to heart failure. It broke my heart to see her like that. I was in college at the time, and we lived a few hours away. While she was physically very weak, she was spiritually incredibly strong. Her eyesight was poor, so she couldn’t read or even watch television.

But – she prayed. Any requests we made, she prayed. She prayed my brother through law school, and me through college. She prayed for her family, and I suspect she prayed for patience and grace. Well, she received that in abundance. She was one of the greatest inspirations I’ve had, even though she left her earthly life several decades ago.

Anglican prayer beads aren’t like Catholic rosaries, and no, you don’t count off Hail Marys. I’ve used different prayers (or mantras) with them. The mala is used with mantras or with breath, but I’ve started doing something else with mine.

Each bead represents a person or thing or event in my life that I am thankful for. I name each person / thing, and no, it’s not written down (and it may change slightly each time). It’s amazingly easy to think of 108 (and more) people / things / situations / events that I am grateful for. Yes, I am blessed, and I am truly grateful.

I love it that we have three dimensional, tangible stuff that helps to keep us connected to Spirit. Hey, whatever works, right? Life can get crazy, stressful, hectic. Sometimes we’re so focused on surviving the day/traffic/AT&T headaches/someone’s meltdown that our Divine Connection can get a bit stressed. So…grab your prayer beads. Make a cup of tea (herbal if you’re stressed). Breathe. And say…thank you.

God-Stuff

We are powerfully creative.

And why shouldn’t we be? We are made of God-stuff.

In the beginning, was the Word. Our Creator spoke everything into being and began the cycles of life and creation that would bring forth each atom, each spec of being, each human soul.

What, exactly, are we made of? Whatever term you want to use for the Divine Creative Mind – God – had only Divine Self. Everything is made of God-stuff, and we are made in the image of that Creator.

We can be active co-creators of life and of our pocket of reality. We always are, whether we want to be or not. I hate hearing the media calling anyone “victims,” for it implies powerlessness.

While some circumstances are certainly beyond our control (sometimes feces occurs), our reaction to circumstances isn’t. Terrible circumstances can take time to overcome, and some cannot be overcome in this world.

Yet – we can decide how to face circumstances.

I remember when I worked as a Clinical Social Worker on the oncology floor of a hospital. I was asked to see a woman who had recently been diagnosed with cancer, and was refusing chemotherapy. My mission was not to “try to change her mind.” Rather, it was to provide another set of ears. Her oncologist and nurses had already discussed the clinical aspects of her decision. I was there to discuss the psychosocial aspects of her decision. Years later, I remember her resolve – and her peace.

She didn’t have an attitude of “poor me.” Rather, she was peaceful, and felt that her quality of life was of primary importance to her and her family. She was also a woman of faith, and knew that life continued beyond the physical.

Her choice wasn’t to lie down and die; it was to live fully for as long as she could. Contrary to what some might say, she didn’t just let life wash over her. She knew that sooner or later, things would get better, and reminded herself of it constantly.

When we were faced with something painful, mom would remind us that “this, too, shall pass.” I remind myself that “things are getting better” because eventually – they do, even though our brains may scream in revolt at times. Working on this mindset also puts us in a mindset of gratitude.

Magically, things eventually do turn around. We recognize the blessings that we do have, focus more on them, and find other things for which to be grateful. Things get better.

Why? Because you, dear reader, are infinitely creative, and made of the same stuff that God is made of.

Image: Solar eclipse, August, 2017 © B. D. Lowry

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas? But…it’s January 4!

Yep! And we’re still in the Christmas season. Epiphany isn’t until Monday, and my decorations are still up. It won’t take long to take them down, as I’ve simplified things over the years, but they probably won’t go back into the boxes until next weekend.

It was a nice Christmas, all things considered. The last few years were pretty lousy – three years ago, pop died. Two years ago, I broke my ankle and spent Christmas recovering from surgery (I won’t say it was “shattered” as my very talented orthopedic surgeon managed to find all the pieces of bone and reassemble them with some heavy-duty hardware), and last year my best friend and music partner died suddenly right before Christmas. This year, we lost mom – which should have made it another crappy Christmas.

But oddly – it wasn’t. Maybe it was because we all breathed a collective sigh of relief that she and pop were together again. Maybe it was because she wasn’t suffering any more. Maybe it was because we all realized that, as hard as it was, it could have been a lot worse.

And maybe – just maybe – this Christmas was a gift from the Holy Spirit.

Sure, we got a little weepy. We missed some people terribly. Mom had left some instructions for some personal gifts, which were given out. I’d like to think that mom was able to see everyone’s reactions. I do know I felt her presence – and pop’s, and Bubba’s – very strongly. Does it take the place of their being there “in the flesh?” Of course not. But because of Christmas – and Easter – we know we will be with them again. We know they are wrapped in love and peace.

And of course, there were some laughs: My brother continued the tradition of the rubber chickens. Once again, his ceiling (and it’s a tall one) is covered with little rubber chickens. It started a few years ago when he ordered a pack of small rubber chickens (you shoot them like rubber bands) from “slamazon” (as my friend Cathy J calls that big online retailer), intending for us to shoot them at one another like the overgrown kids we all are.

I’m pretty sure it was Bubba who first aimed a chicken at the ceiling. Or maybe Harris. Hey! They stick! And so a new holiday tradition was born.

Can you hear it? “Oh, we love to decorate the tree as a family on Christmas eve after we go to church, and then after Christmas dinner we go caroling! What do you do, Brenda?” “Oh, we crank up the air conditioning, build a fire in the fireplace, drink champagne and shoot rubber chickens at each other and at the ceiling.” Yep, that’s my family.

And among all of this craziness is family, love, and the peace of the Holy Spirit. I realize a lot of people struggle with Christmas. I have for years – so did mom; she said that she was reminded of all those she loved who had left this life. I do think she had a better Christmas this year, as did pop, Bubba, and all of our loved ones on the other side. #84 in the Hymnal 1982 sums it up beautifully:

May the peace of the Holy Spirit and the gift of the Incarnation be with you throughout the year. And don’t be afraid to say it: Merry Christmas!

It Is Well With My Soul

Today is Mary’s 85th birthday. I’ve had the joy of knowing her – and singing alongside her – for about three decades now. Her birthday falls ON “Birthday Sunday,” the first Sunday of the month where we pray (and sing!) for those in the congregation celebrating birthdays in the coming month.

Leon chose an anthem arrangement of It Is Well With My Soul for us to sing, as it’s a favorite of Mary’s (the rest of the choir loves it too). She sang a beautiful solo on the first verse, and it was all I could do to come in singing when the rest of us joined in because it was so moving.

It is a hymn that bears special meaning, and when you know the story behind it, you can really understand why this song touches the spirit so deeply.

Horatio Spafford and his wife had already lost much – the death of a son, followed closely by the great Chicago fire and destruction of his business – all in the same year, 1871. Two years later, Spafford was planning a trip to Europe for himself and his family. A last minute problem with his business delayed him, but he sent his wife and children on ahead with plans to take another ship and meet with them in a few days.

The ship carrying his wife and four daughters was struck by another ship and went down. His wife survived, but his daughters did not. Spafford immediately went to join his wife, and it is said that he wrote It Is Well in the area where the ship carrying his family went down.

The melody, written by Phillip Bliss, is called Ville du Havre – after the name of the ship that went down.

After the tragedy, the Spaffords had three more children, with one dying of scarlet fever. They eventually moved to the Holy Land and led lives devoted to service.

Their story is incredible, as is their faith. It’s hard to imagine having such soul-ripping events – and still be able to say it is well with my soul. I don’t doubt that the Spaffords had moments of deep anguish and despair. But the words strike right at the core of what is most essential, and beautifully so:

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to know
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, (it is well),
With my soul, (with my soul)
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

(And the final verse:)

O Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
the clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
the trump shall resound and the Lord shall descend;
even so, it is well with my soul.

Source: https://hymnary.org/text/when_peace_like_a_river_attendeth_my_way

You may also find the hymn listed as When Peace Like a River.

Peace can be like a river – sometimes quiet, sometimes turbulent and nonexistent. But whatever my lot, there is refuge in God’s promise. This line that doesn’t appear in every hymnal:

No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life,
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

Sometimes that’s all it is, and all it takes; just hearing that whisper. We can cling to it as we would a raft in a turbulent river and hold on, knowing that somewhere at the end of that rope is peace, even if we can’t quite grab it yet. This is the promise of God, the promise of Christ, the promise of Love.

Happy birthday, Mary. And thank you for giving us a gift with your voice; a beautiful and heartfelt reminder that while hearts may be breaking and we may feel we’ve given up, it is still well with my soul.

Seek Good.

If the prophet Amos were around today and on social media, he’d probably be canceled. He lived in a time when the people of Israel were fat and happy, and pretty much living the high life. As long as they went through the motions of what God had told them to do, they could pretty much do whatever else they wanted. Amos called them out on it.


Seek Good, not evil, that you may live. Then the Lord God Almighty will be with you, just as you say he is. Hate evil, love good; maintain justice in the courts…” Amos 5: 14-15a

A bit of good in the morning.

Some things never change. It’s been….oh, about 2700 years (give or take a decade or two) since the time of Amos, and we’re still dealing with the same stuff. We live in pretty cushy times, at least in our corner of the planet. While Christians and Jews (and anyone who truly values and lives by love and compassion) would all no doubt agree with Amos’ extortion to “hate evil, love good,” we don’t always agree on what’s evil and what’s good.


This isn’t to say we don’t know right from wrong; we do. But we’re busy, distracted creatures and so we tend to rely on institutions and “experts” to interpret things for us. We are told by media (traditional and social) and pundits how to be good. They may or may not have good advice, but how many follow along without truly questioning? How often do we really question whether or not there are diversionary tactics in play?


Life isn’t always as simple as “X is good, and Y is bad,” and most rational people would agree with that. Why, then, are so many quick to agree with statements and stances such as “guns are bad,” “unvaccinated people should be shut out of society for the good of all,” and “mask refusers are haters who want to infect us!” Oh, and let’s not forget “save the planet! Eliminate plastic waste!” Seriously, a quick perusal of Twitter or Facebook will show you all of these, and more, with “likes” piling up – often from those folks we thought were rational and could have at least a conversation on any one of those hot-button topics.


Such statements and responses aren’t hating evil. It’s more like division….and doesn’t Evil just love division?


Evil can masquerade as righteousness, charm and smile and make you think you are doing The Right Thing while you fall right into line. None of us are immune, and we must constantly seek good – especially when there’s no real cut and dry good vs. bad.


Besides, people have reasons for believing as they do. Wouldn’t it be interesting to have an actual conversation with an exchange of information? A friend recently told me (in reference to something related to CoVid) “I don’t know where you get your information, but….” I provided her with some of the information upon which I had based my decision – not to try and change her mind, but simply to show that yes, there is a lot of information out there and I wasn’t just being clueless or a selfish jerk. We can have different opinions based on the facts – but we are often exposed to different facts.


Amos summed it up simply. Hate evil. Do good. Maintain justice. (Real justice, not qualified justice.) Seek God, and seek knowledge and information with open minds and hearts.


Like Amos, our eyes will be opened to the hypocrisy in our world and in our country. We all wonder “how can we fix this?” The most important step is to bring God not just back into our lives, but back into our society. Amos saw this 2,700 years ago. We need to see this today.


Dive a little deeper. Be willing to have conversations. Recognize that it is the duty of each one of us to do what we can to bring God back into society. If you are at a meeting, request to start the meeting with a prayer. Give thanks before shared meals, even (especially) in public. Don’t let a few atheists get in the way of your civic display of faith. Support freedom. Be compassionate.


Even though it may be hard to discern, seek good.

Friends

My friend Keith pointed out that August 1 is National Friendship Day. How timely! Over the recent years, many friendships (and family relationships) have been tried over deep divides in our country, many of them political.

It’s pretty insane, when you think about it. For decades, I never really cared that I have a lot of friends who are on the “other side of the aisle” from me politically. I still don’t. Politics has nothing to do with why I love them and consider them friends. There are more important things in life, and those are the things that we hold in common and that has led to our friendships.

Sadly, this isn’t always the case. My sis-in-law sent a link to a very thoughtful (and nonpolitical) article on the loss of friendships and family relationships caused by disagreement over CoVid. You can find it here: LOSING FRIENDS AND FAMILY DURING CORONAMANIA | by Mark Oshinskie | Jul, 2021 | Medium

I won’t tell you that I haven’t experienced some difficulties (and shunning) because of the Wuhan Flu. But what the hell are we doing here, letting something like this divide us?

I can hear some outraged comments: “It’s a matter of public health!” OK, fine, I don’t exactly agree, but that’s ok. I’ve written before about public mental health; suicide is a lot more deadly than the Wuhan Flu.

As people of faith, we must not give in to letting something worldly divide us. I have actually heard comments stating “well, I don’t feel sorry for so-and-so, s/he wouldn’t get vaccinated!”

Wow. Just…wow.

Sadly, I don’t think this mindset is going away anytime soon – but we can combat it by avoiding the trap of division.

If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. And if Satan opposes himself and is divided, he cannot stand; his end has come. In fact, no one can enter a strong man’s house without first tying him up. Then he can plunder the strong man’s house. ~ Mark 3:24 – 27

My friend Keith Horcasitas shares this invitation for August 1 at 7 AM in Baton Rouge:

National Friendship Day, August 1, 2021. With all the discord and polarity in the world, I have a modest proposal for fellow Redstick citizens – to tie in to the great “Let There be Peace on Earth” song which notes “…and let it begin with me!” A friendship Promenade for Peace, sponsored by Prayer Care, LLC – in line with social distancing and masking – will be held tomorrow, Sunday, August 1, 2021 – National Friendship Day, 7 AM, Baton Rouge City Park, starting by the City Park Labyrinth. Come out for a simple meet and greet as we, of all walks of faith and life, come together as friends to exercise and encourage one another to promote peace in our hearts. And please bring your 4 legged friends, who sometimes help us at meeting and greeting!

This is a 15 minute walk with unitive prayers and songs. If you can’t be there in person, be there in spirit, and let the Spirit remind you of what is truly important.

Let not your hearts be troubled.

The gospel scheduled for this coming Sunday is that of John 14. How especially appropriate is this, as we are surrounded by an almost hourly dose of fearful statistics and more stories of a virus with mysterious ways! We are inundated everywhere we turn by calls for reopening the economy / staying shut down / we will have to wear masks forever / people will die!! / suicides on the rise / businesses are failing / etc.

It seems that every utterance is one of fear or one of derision towards one school of thought or another. I hear and read comments that are diametrically opposed: We Should Already Have The Economy Opened up versus We Need To Stay Shut Down Until They Find A Vaccine. The irony here is that most people agree that this virus should not be taken lightly and we need to understand what will be the best approach for the greatest number of people. There is a point of diminishing returns, and everyone has different opinions on it – and those different opinions fuel the fires of fear.

I can’t help but wonder: If we follow Christ, then why do we fear?

AA mountain laurel

Of course, we fear for our loved ones who may be more vulnerable. We fear for ourselves, our family, friends, coworkers, those in the medical field, the folks who work at the grocery store, the baristas at our favorite coffeeshop, the folks who own and who work at our favorite restaurants and businesses, our country, and the world.

But it seems that we are forgetting the most critical thing: God’s got this.

Take a breath. God’s got this. We have a responsibility to do what we think is best – and then, let it go. Not everyone is going to agree on the same approach to this.

I keep hearing comments like “I get so angry when I see people running around without masks! They are so inconsiderate!” (Maybe they have a breathing or sinus problem that wearing a mask exacerbates. Maybe they’re trying to practice social distancing, so stay out of their way.) I also hear comments like “where are all these people going? Why are there so many cars on the road? They need to stay home!” (Maybe they’re just getting out of the house for a ride. Maybe they’re running an errand for someone who’s vulnerable. At any rate, their cooties are in their cars with them.)

Take a breath. God’s got this. All we can “control” (and I use that word lightly) is what WE do. We’re in charge of our own choices, and the rest is up to God.

Isn’t that a relief? Why are we forgetting this?

But people will die!

Well…yes. I hate the idea that I may lose someone (or my own life) to this virus, and I know we all feel that way. But have we forgotten that we all die anyway? Sure, we don’t want to go before it’s our time, but again…our time is in God’s hands.

There’s a lot of fear and disagreement about “opening up,” and I get that.

But when we fuel fear, we separate ourselves from God, and we encourage others to be separate from God.

AA yellowtops

We focus on the fallacy that we can control this, and we can’t. Sure, we can be cautious, wash our hands, and do what we can to “flatten the curve.”  Let’s not forget that yes, there will be more deaths attributed to this virus. (There will also be more deaths attributed to auto accidents, cancer, influenza, heart disease, suicide, war, violence, etc.) As people begin to move around more, there will almost certainly be an increase in infections. Don’t forget the idea of the shutdown was to not overwhelm the medical system, and we’ve been successful with that.

We don’t have to live in fear. Importantly, we don’t have to wield fear as a weapon to “make people behave.” We don’t have to judge others or make them examples of our righteousness if they don’t behave as we (or some expert) thinks they should behave. We might do well to remember that the models we’ve seen have been wrong, and that logic tells us we should be cautious – but not panic.

Be not afraid. Let not your hearts be troubled. God’s got this.

There is a Well

Yesterday’s Gospel reading was about Jesus meeting the Samaritan woman at the well, and their subsequent conversation. I’ve always been fascinated by the Samaritan woman (as you can tell from the title of this blog). She was pretty fearless.

She recognized first that He was a prophet, and when He began to speak of Spirit, she tested the waters (no pun intended) of the Messiah issue. She didn’t quite come out and say “are you the Messiah,” but spoke of the Messiah

Jesus confirmed that I who speak to you am He.

The woman left her water jar behind, a significant act in itself. Not only did she abandon her task (a critical one that had to be fulfilled on a regular basis), she abandoned her tool. Simply reading the words as written, we may get the impression that she set down her water jar and wandered into the city and chatted with some folks on the street corner.

I rather have the idea that she was blown away enough to drop everything and run. Wouldn’t you? How long had they been waiting for a Messiah? She had the proof she needed.  Not only had He spoken to her, He had spoken to her as an equal, an individual capable of grasping deep truth. He immediately treated her as a disciple.

She ran to the city. Can you imagine her breathless as she told people (the men, as John tells us, another important point) to come, see a Man who told me…could this be the Christ?

She must have had a reputation for being truthful, as people believed her words. Later, when they had seen for themselves, they came to believe what they had seen.

I wrote the lyrics first for There is a Well:

There is a well inside of me, never gonna run dry;
a deep well that’s flowing inside of me, where my soul does lie.
Some days it’s clear fresh water
Some days it’s sweet red wine
That makes my head start spinning with a love divine.
There is a well inside of me, never gonna run dry.

Well, I left the village, to fill my jar
with a thirst throughout my very soul.
And I met a man (can you understand)
He said “my water will make you whole.”
He said, You been thirsting,
I know you’ve been looking
and you’re not the only one……
so go back to the village, and sing it on the streets
the Son of Man has come!

There is a well inside of me, never gonna run dry;
a deep well that’s flowing inside of me, where my soul does lie.
Some days it’s clear fresh water
Some days it’s sweet red wine
That makes my head start spinning with a love divine.
There is a well inside of me, never gonna run dry.

Oh I thought I lost out on Salvation’s call
because a sinner oh, that’s what I am
But I drank of his living water and I heard him say
“Sister, you’re a part of the plan.”
He said, It’s a hard life
That you’ve been living
And sister, I know you’ve got the blues
But it was a new day dawning, when you woke up this morning
So go out and tell the good news!

There is a well inside of me, never gonna run dry;
a deep well that’s flowing inside of me, where my soul does lie.
Some days it’s clear fresh water
Some days it’s sweet red wine
That makes my head start spinning with a love divine.
There is a well inside of me, never gonna run dry…
There is a well inside of me, never gonna run dry.

The words came easily, but I struggled with the music for a while. Then, I realized:

She had five husbands. Obviously, this was meant to be a blues song.

CD COVER only front

And a blues song it is. You can listen to the song here.

Paper Clip Miracles: The Children’s Holocaust Memorial

While I am a regular congregant and chorister at the Episcopal Church of the Epiphany in the deep south of Louisiana, I have sung for my “other church family” at Temple Gates of Prayer. The setting of the season of High Holy Days is a perfect time to share with you a miracle – that to me, just goes to show (again) how much God can do with the smallest, simplest things.

 

Over two months have passed since Joshua and I visited the Children’s Holocost Memorial in Whitwell, Tennessee. I can still barely find the words to write about it.

 

This amazing memorial is at a middle school in the mountains of Tennessee, northwest of Chattanooga. Friends Diane and Vickie suggested we visit there after we’d spent time with the sisters of the Community of St. Mary in Sewanee. I’m glad I had that dose of peacefulness to strengthen me before visiting the memorial, which still has me in awe.

 

Over the years, the 8th grade classes at Whitwell Middle School have learned about history, prejudice, and the holocaust through this amazing project that has changed hundreds of thousands of hearts and lives.
 
Whitwell pause sign

Sign at the entrance of the Memorial.


 
“You should go see this,” said our friends. “It may not be open right now, because it’s at a school, but you could at least try” and they tried to describe the Paperclip Project. In the end, Diane sent us off with a DVD that we watched later that evening.

 

Neither Bubba (Joshua) nor I said a word as we watched this nearly 2 hour long documentary. (We are never at a loss for words.) As the credits rolled, we said in unison, “we’re going.”

 

I will quote the Whitwell website to give you an idea of the Memorial:

 

“In 1998 eighth grade students at Whitwell Middle School began an after-school study of the Holocaust.  The goal of this study was to teach students the importance of respecting different cultures as well as understanding the effects of intolerance.  As the study progressed, the sheer number of Jews who were exterminated by the Nazis overwhelmed the students.  Six million was a number that  the students could not remotely grasp.  The students asked Sandra Roberts and David Smith if they could collect something to help them understand the enormity of this extermination.  The teachers told the students to ask permission of principal, Linda M. Hooper.  She gave the students permission to begin a collection, IF, they could find something to collect that would have meaning to the project.  After some research on the Internet, the students decided to collect paper clips because they discovered that 1) Joseph Valler, a Norwegian Jew is credited as having invented the paper clip and 2) that Norwegians wore them on their lapels as a silent protest against Nazi occupation in WWII.”

 

The rest, as they say, is history. The students began collecting paperclips, with the goal of 6 million paper clips. After a slow start, the idea exploded, with help in part from a German journalist husband and wife team who were working in the United States.

 

Over the following years, the students collected over 30 million paperclips from all over the world. In 2004, a documentary film was made (the DVD that Diane loaned us).

 

The project expanded exponentially, and became much more than just a class exercise. The project came to change the entire town, and impact everyone who has seen it.

 

The day that Bubba and I went was a quiet summer day, and Whitwell is off the beaten path and away from the tourist attractions of Chattanooga and Nashville. The town and school are not diverse in population, which is initially one reason why the school chose to learn about the holocaust. In addition to learning about history, there were lessons in tolerance to be learned as well.

 

We found the school, nestled on the outskirts of town. The gates to the schoolgrounds were wide open, and they were beautiful gates with artistic butterflies incorporated into their design. As we rounded the bend in the driveway, I began to wonder aloud where the memorial (which, we’d been told, was in an authentic cattle car – yes, one of those) might be near the school, behind the school, or…
No need to wonder:
 
Whitwell LS for blog

Still, no words.


 
We drove up in silence. The car sat on a length of track, which rested on limestone. A wheelchair friendly ramp led to the open door of the car. Butterfly bushes were planted nearby, and mosaic butterfly stones and sculptures were around the car, as was an iron fence.
 

 
On a granite monument, we read the words of the poem, The Last Butterfly:

 

The last, the very last,
So richly, brightly, dazzlingly yellow.
Perhaps if the sun’s tears would sing
against a white stone…
Such, such a yellow
Is carried lightly ‘way up high.
It went away I’m sure because it wished to
kiss the world goodbye.
For seven weeks I’ve lived in here,
Penned up inside this ghetto
But I have found my people here.
The dandelions call to me
And the white chestnut candles in the court.
Only I never saw another butterfly.
That butterfly was the last one.
Butterflies don’t live in here,
In the ghetto. 

 

This was written by Pavel Friedmann, dated 4.6.1942 . Pavel was born in 1921 in Prague, and was deported a couple of weeks after the poem was written. He was murdered in Auschwitz in September of 1944.
 

 
After spending a long walking in silence around the outside of the fence, Bubba finally spoke.

 

“Want to go inside?” he said. “But it’s locked,” I replied. “We can get the key. Look.” He pointed out the sign on the gate that I’d missed; the key was available at a local grocery.

 

We drove into town, sharing few words. The grocery was on the main thoroughfare, and I pulled in next to a motorcycle. “I’ll get it,” I said, grabbing my wallet. After all, they would want some ID, right?

 

“Hi, is this where I get the key to – “ the young lady smiled, said “yes m’am, here you go” and handed me a key (on a giant paperclip keychain). I stopped in midsentence.

 

“Do you need an ID, or do I need to check it out, sign anything?”

 

“Nah, just remember to bring it back when you’re done.”

 

Wow. Thank you. I got back in the car, unused to this simple, honest, open greeting.

 

We drove back to the Memorial. I walked over to an area near the parking lot, with stones lining a drainage ditch, and selected a small, smooth one. I walked along the sidewalk, and also selected a piece of limestone. We unlocked the gate, and stepped in.

 

Whitwell CCar 1
I don’t know how long we stayed . There was no sense of time. I walked around, finally getting the nerve to touch the cattlecar. It had been cleaned, repaired, and “disinfected.” The car had been used for the most nefarious of work, bringing innocent souls  to the slaughter of the camps. Blood, tears, secretions of body and of spirit were soaked into the wood. After the war, it had been adapted to use for hauling grain.

 

From hauling innocents to death, to hauling food – grain. Was it on the path to being forgotten? Or was this a metaphor as well?

 

Whitwell door

 

I expected the wood to scream at me, saturated with grief and terror. Yet, it didn’t scream as I’d anticipated. It whispered, and I couldn’t quite make out the whispers. It wept. I walked around the outside of the car, the open doors eye level with me. I left one piece of limestone on the outside of the car, and saw where many other visitors had left their stones of remembrance.

 

Whitwell rocks

 

I saw life in the butterfly garden. One memorial stone was placed in honor of the Jehovah’s Witnesses who were murdered by the Nazis. Coincidentally, about the same time as I visited this memorial, my mother was back home, having coffee and visiting with a relative from New York – the daughter of a cousin who was a Jehovah’s Witness.
 

I finally walked up the ramp and into the car. The doors were both open, and the sides were partitioned off by plexiglass.

 

Behind the plexiglass were 11 million paperclips.

 

Whitwell not forget you

 

Clearly, the paperclips were from all over. Not all were “standard American paperclips.” There were plastic ones, differently-curved ones, from all over the world. Tucked in with the paperclips were other memorials:

 

~A vintage, battered suitcase from a school in Germany filled with letters from German students, written to Anne Frank.

 

~Kippahs from Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, adorned with paperclips.

 

Whitwell kippahs

 

~Books, and a copy of the Mourner’s Kaddish.

 

Whitwell Mourners Kaddish
~A beautiful Mezzuzah, sent from a Jewish Congregation (in Ohio, I think) was on the door of the car. God’s word welcomed all who entered, regardless of faith.

 

Whitwell Mezzuzah

 

Above the paperclips, a sign read:

Whitwell inside

Sign above the paperclips, and the suitcase from schoolchildren in Germany. My own reflection, witnessing.

 

Standing in this car, I wondered how many thousands of souls were forced to ride it, in misery and terror. Today, this cattlecar stands as testimony and reminder: Never again. It serves as a focal point for former, current, and future students who are all involved in the Paperclip Project. Students greet visitors, give tours, answer questions. The heart of this project has grown to encompass the entire community of Whitwell, and people all over the world; art blossoms at this Memorial, reflecting the desire to be a part of this reminder, this hope, this healing.

 

Whitwell my rock

 

I left another stone at the edge of the paperclips, and prayed. As much of the Mourner’s Kaddish as I could remember,  Hail Holy Queen, and the words of my heart. (After all, what else is an Episcopalian with Catholic roots who says “my other church is a synagogue” going to do?)  It’s all God, after all, and prayer is prayer. I prayed, and I listened, actually somewhat confused at what I was feeling and at what I was not feeling. One thing was certain: I will not forget. 

 

I was anticipating angst, fear, horror.
I felt horror…but also some calm, peace, hope, and healing.

 

The lives lost can never be regained. Yet the healing power of this project which grew into an international effort cannot be denied. I was left awestruck by the power of a simple paperclip and a desire to make a difference, no matter how small.
Whitwell touch
As I write, I recall reading something about a man who bartered his way to a house, starting with only a paperclip. The students of Whitwell Middle School started with an idea, and a simple paperclip. Even the smallest thing, teamed with love and vision, can make a huge difference.

 

We were leaving, and had locked up the gate when another car drove up. Somehow, we found our voices to greet the newcomers.  “Get ready,” Bubba said to them. “It’ll hit you.”

 

“I know,” replied the young woman. She told us that she was a teacher, who came to visit the Memorial every summer.

 

We unlocked the gate for them, and brought the key back to the grocery. “We unlocked it for someone who got there when we were leaving,” I told the young lady at the register. “They said they’d lock it when they left, unless someone else came by.”

 

“That’s fine,” she said.

 

“Thank y’all for keeping that key available,” I said as I left. “Being able to walk inside was – incredible.” She smiled. I had no words; it was hard enough to find those.
 
Whitwell childrens sculpture

Artwork at the Children’s Holocaust Memorial

I’ve thought of two words to describe the Children’s Holocaust Memorial: Healing Miracle.

 

Beyond that, you’ll have to visit it yourself, and I urge you to do so.

 

The Last Butterfly accessed from:
For information, visit
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