Thank it forward.

June 28, 2015June 28, 2015 / a samaritan woman / Leave a comment

A friend asked me today how I can make a prayer shawl and not be too concerned about whether or not I ever receive feedback from the recipient. Her question made me think.

There’s a certain amount of detachment, once the shawl is finished and given. But there cannot be detachment during the making. Be a channel, I thought. All creativity comes from God, I’m just the hands that make the shawl and the human being that prays, however imperfectly, for the recipient. Couple that with a thick-skinned attitude gained from years of performing with a blues band, and I suppose you have a working definition of being detached from the responses to your creative offerings. (“You’re awesome!” “You suck!” all in the course of an evening, and maybe it’s alcohol talking. Then again, maybe I am awesome! Um, and maybe I do really suck.)

Maybe one of these cool labels from www.sublimestitching.com would be a hint!

When it comes to our creative gifts, we can’t be completely detached, and I find myself mulling over the question this afternoon as I sweep floors and do laundry. God has such a sense of humor.

I cannot detach as I make a shawl for someone who is in pain. Right now I’m working on one for a woman who suddenly lost her 28 year old daughter. She is struggling with a pain and loss that I cannot understand, and yet I grieve and pray with her in spirit, and those prayers are woven into stitches. I cannot detach from songs I love to sing, and especially cannot detach from sacred music. What gives me courage to sing is to remind myself that I am doing the best I can with what I am given, and the rest is up to God.

I believe it’s that way with any creative endeavor, and especially with those where there is a recipient involved. So much of it is up to God, to the Divine Creative. Whether writing, cooking, making a shawl, making music, building or crafting something of wood…we pour an extra measure of love and heart into it. We share our soul with the recipient, whether we know them or not. We are open and vulnerable as we create, but must have a bit of a thick skin when it comes to the reception of our work – a thick skin or a constant reminding that it’s all from God. It’s a crazy balancing act, and one that I’ve never quite gotten the hang of, either.

Sometimes I love to give anonymously because I know I’m NOT going to be thanked. I can remain unknown, and imagine someone else’s surprise. No one feels obligated to reciprocate, say thank you, or anything. I love to think that I made a difference, even if a tiny one. When something is given anonymously, thanks can be given to God, and the recipient will “pay it forward” sometimes. That starts such a ripple of blessings, and it’s good for me in that I cannot expect thanks. I find that I feel blessed, and that’s thanks enough.

Sometimes I do get attached to shawls.

And yeah, sometimes I want to hear “thank you.” Hey, I’m human, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting some sort of thanks or an occasional accolade. I guess the question is, do we want to be thanked, or do we need to be thanked? It would be pretty cold to not care at all.

We take thanks where we get them, knowing that for everyone who says “thank you,” there are others who cannot do so. Sometimes there are no words; sometimes there is no opportunity. To find myself wanting thanks is also a lesson that I can be grateful for. If thanks doesn’t come, well, that’s not about me or my gift. We can only be the channel, the conduit, for something that must be expressed, made, created, given. Once the shawl is given, once the song is sung, once the meal is served – it’s out of our hands. Our humanness may be saddened (and that’s OK), when our efforts aren’t acknowledged. I can still be thankful that I have gifts and abilities to share. We can only learn from that twinge of “gee, did they like it?” and then let it go. Let it leave our hands as did the shawl, knowing that the prayer and the spirit will continue to lift us – and who knows who else.

A Shawl for Jean

January 21, 2015 / a samaritan woman / Leave a comment

My fingers move quickly, a bright red aluminum crochet hook dancing around and over and up and through soft green yarn. I think of Jean, whom I do not know, but is sister to a friend and who has lost her second child. My friend told us the story this evening at our prayer shawl gathering; her sister had lost her daughter (aged 54) several years ago and now has lost her son as well. None of us could possibly imagine her pain, her grief.

It must be agony that only Divine Love can heal, and even that takes time. I don’t even pause to wonder; I pull out the soft green yarn I bought a few weeks ago. I didn’t know who that shawl would be for when I bought the yarn, I just knew that it would be for someone in need of prayer. Tonight, I know it’s for Jean, and I start to stitch.

I watch the hook, feel the yarn. This is a particularly soft yarn, a single ply acrylic with long, subtle color changes in hues of green with occasional gold tones. My hook slides around it like butter, and I am soothed by the simple act of yarn over, pull through. I think of Jean, praying for her, hoping to send just a little of this simple serenity her way.

I think of my own two children, both young adults. They make mistakes, and are trying to navigate the world in that collegiate neither-land between “home” and “on their own.” Sometimes they frustrate me, and sometimes they surprise me with spurts of maturity. I give thanks that they are both healthy, vibrant, good and kind, realizing the rest of responsible adulthood will come with time. I realize that door has shut for Jean’s children, and I pray for her comfort. I feel assured that she will have it; I also know it will not be without great pain.

My house is quiet, and it is nighttime, so I chant the 23rd Psalm very softly, the sound soothing much as the yarn. I release these simple acts and prayers into the Divine, back to where they came from. I feel a soft ripple in the Universe, and imagine wings as angelic helpers tend to Jean here on earth.

Prayer Shawls * 3 Dimensional Prayer

October 8, 2014 / a samaritan woman / Leave a comment

Thoughts at the beginning of a Shawl Ministry at the Episcopal Church of the Epiphany in New Iberia, La.

“Shawls … made for centuries universal and embracing, symbolic of an inclusive, unconditionally loving, God. They wrap, enfold, comfort, cover, give solace, mother, hug, shelter and beautify. Those who have received these shawls have been uplifted and affirmed, as if given wings to fly above their troubles…”

Written in 1998 by: Janet Severi Bristow From the home page at: http://www.shawlministry.com

Wrapped in Prayer

I had a Zen teacher in college, Fr. Benjamin Wren, SJ, who taught – among other things – liturgical dance, ikebana and Tai Chi. He called these “3 dimensional prayer.” I thought of Fr. Wren when I started exploring the interest level for a shawl ministry at our church, because I also think of prayer shawls as “3 dimensional prayer.”

Shawls are practical, beautiful, nurturing. Even though the idea of a prayer shawl ministry didn’t really burst into modern consciousness until 1998, shawls have been present in spiritual practice for a long time. I think of the Jewish Talit, or fringed prayer shawl, worn at various times by Orthodox, Conservative and Reform Jews. Our priests, deacons and bishops wear stoles when leading a service. Mantillas may still be worn by Spanish Roman Catholic women for worship (and were extremely common in French/Spanish south Louisiana in pre-Vatican II days). Pentecostal Churches may have “prayer cloths” – cloths that have been prayed over and in some cases, anointed. All of these practices may serve to set the wearer apart, or to help the wearer indicate, even if only to oneself, that this time is now for prayer.

I can appreciate the concept of a prayer cloth. Here’s something tangible that has been prayed over, given to someone to hold, to touch, a tactile reminder that someone else has been praying for them. It’s a powerful thing to know that someone is praying for you, and having something in hand that underscores that can serve as a strong reminder: You are loved. You are remembered and cared for by this community. You are a child of God, our sister or brother in Christ, and this is a symbol of our ongoing prayer.

A shawl is this symbol, that wraps one in a comforting embrace. So where did our 21st century concept of a prayer shawl ministry come from?

Monica’s Prayer Shawl

Do an online search for “prayer shawl ministry” and you will learn of two women who had attended and graduated from a Leadership Institude in Hartford, Connecticut in 1998. They’d been in a program of applied Feminist Spirituality with Professor Miriam Therese Winter. Professor Winter is a Roman Catholic nun (Medical Mission Sister) and an author and songwriter whose works are well worth exploring. These women, Janet Severi Bristow and Victoria Galo, combined compassion, prayer, and a love of fiber arts into a prayer ministry and spiritual practice. Their journey and ministry is described on the website, www.shawlministry.com.

Since then, prayer shawl patterns have been becoming more and more common. Sure, it’s marketing, but I’m very glad to see this concept blossom in spite of the “secularization of America.” Yarn manufacturers are designing simple patterns and actually calling them prayer shawl patterns. Lion Brand Yarn(www.lionbrand.com) has a great assortment of knitted and crocheted prayer shawls. Several books are available for crochet and knitted prayer shawls, and a “prayer shawl” search on the fiber lovers’ website www.ravelry.com yields (as of this writing) over 20,000 member projects tagged with the term “prayer shawl” or “prayershawl.”

What makes a prayer shawl a prayer shawl? Intention. Compassion. Blessings, and of course, prayer.
The shawlmaker only needs basic crochet or knitting skills to do the work. A shawl is begun with intention, with prayer and blessings for the recipient, and the shawlmaker may or may not know the recipient. Shawls may be made with the intention that they will find the person who needs it most. In other words, the Holy Spirit does the heavy lifting. When the shawl is completed, the group (and anyone else who wants to join their prayers) may say a prayer for the recipient before sending it on its way.

Prayer shawls may be made for anyone – woman, man, girl or boy and they may be adapted according to the comfort of the recipient – a “prayer square” with a Cross (or Magen David) motif, or a small blanket may be more appropriate for some than a shawl. They may be made for someone going through medical treatment, for someone experiencing a loss, bereavement; a life-changing event (which can be joyous as well!), ordination…whatever! A small cross or charm may be attached to the shawl, this is entirely optional. Most ministries include a prayer with the shawl – and care instructions help, too!

No matter where you are with your craft, making a prayer shawl is a beautiful thing. Your stitches don’t have to be perfect, just made with compassion and intention. Remember that when you make a shawl (or blanket), you are, in a sense, joining the recipient on their journey one stitch at a time, one step at a time, one prayer at a time.