“Are you a Martha, or a Mary?”

How many times have I heard this question asked? I’ve no doubt said it a few times myself. I recently read an insightful commentary (on Instagram, go figure) that touched on the heart of the matter in Luke 10, when Jesus visits the home of his friends Martha, Mary and Lazarus. Martha is busy serving, and Mary is sitting down, listening to Jesus.

I will readily admit to being Martha. After all, somebody has gotta get this s**t done.

The point made was that it wasn’t a situation of Mary = good, Martha = bad. Martha was in her expected role, and provided a great service with her hospitality. She fed Jesus and his followers and made them comfortable and welcome. She provided a safe and welcoming place for the ministry; a refuge from the world where disciples could sit and listen attentively.

The problem was that Martha was anxious, distracted, and focused on something other than Jesus’ message. She was serving, but not with an open heart and open ears. Even something as inspiring and awe filled as Jesus sitting in her home and teaching became something stressful.

Martha did what had to be done, and what WAS the right thing to do. But Jesus did point out, very gently, that spiritual discernment is a “better portion.” There’s a saying “let go and let God,” which reminds us that we DON’T have to try so hard. Maybe we can keep doing what we need to do, but focus our minds more on Spirit than on matter.

Because s**t still gotta get done.

Christ at the home of Mary, Martha, and Lazarus Jacopo Bassano c.1577, Museum of Fine Arts, Houston TX

I joke that my title at work is She Who Does That Which No One Else Will Touch. Computer headaches, dealing with AT&T (and other assorted technology), tracking down clients who are slow in paying, insurance, HR, figuring out assorted regulatory compliance, you name it.

It’s a far cry from the career path I’d started on a few decades ago: Licensed Clinical Social Worker. I keep my license current and do “a few things,” but life interfered and I found myself in the family business because hey – family needed me.

I’ll be honest – there are days when I throw up my hands and say “WHAT am I doing?” There are days when I just want to run away from the world of management and regulations and go back to being a Social Worker. Please don’t make me deal with nonfunctional technology; can I just go back to dealing with serious mental disorders and a few garden variety neuroses instead?

I often wonder if I’m making a difference or helping anyone in this role, and I start to feel like Martha. Frustrated, overworked, unseen, not enough help and not really able to help. Why did I sign on for this?

Well…because of love. Like Martha, I sometimes need a nudge in the “discernment” department. I do this because I love my family. I love what my parents built, and what we continue. I care about our employees, and I care that we have built a good, supportive place to work. I love those days when I look around and think “wow, we really have some good people here.” We are blessed.

I wasn’t familiar with the website that posted that commentary on Instagram; http://www.qava.tv . A quick online check tells me they are a Christian streaming service, offering a wide variety of programs. Thanks, Qava folks, for this thought provoking commentary. It hit me when I needed a reminder that we all need a balance of Martha’s action and Mary’s attentiveness.

Some years ago I wrote a song called Martha’s Blues, focusing on…well, you can probably figure out what it’s about. Pity poor Martha, she’s got the blues; housework fights forever and you’re always gonna lose. It’s a part of the Women at the Well program, and the last time I performed it was at an event honoring the memory of my late music partner Joshua “Bubba” Murrell. It’s always been one of my favorites from that program, and you can listen to it here. Since Covid, we hadn’t been able to do many Women at the Well programs, and I miss that. I wonder sometimes what it would be like to present the program on my own? I wonder what Martha and Mary would advise?